Hi y'all!
Hope everyone's doing well! I'm alright - getting through my first semester of college, surviving midterms and marching band and substituting too much coffee for too little sleep.
So anyway, it's Diabetes Awareness Month (AKA the birth month of literally all diabetics - I don't make the rules). My November so far has been full of plenty of T1D things - I participated in an Omnipod wearability study, wrote a mildly concerning number of emails to Senators and other government officials, and got into at least one heated email debate with the office of said officials. (Pro tip: if you put the words "with all due respect" in front of a sentence, the sentence itself can be as disrespectful as you want!) I got lots of tests done, received some not-great news, and did a lot of reflecting about what comes next.
Let's unpack all that!
The Good
- Baby's first trial!
A few weeks ago, I participated in a 5-day trial for an Omnipod prototype! The device itself was deliberately ineffective - it wasn't made to deliver insulin, so I was still injection-dependent throughout. My job was to test the adhesive to see if it could last 5 days, and to evaluate how comfortable the prototype felt.
Now, y'all know I don't wear an insulin pump, so this was a totally new experience for me! The device was big, and the site wasn't my favorite - they asked me to test it on my lower back, which isn't ideal for someone who wears a backpack all day. But even with that working against me, it was amazing how quickly I got used to it. The device stayed on the whole time, and similar to my CGM, I hardly noticed it after the first day or two. It definitely got me thinking about my own future and the possibility of getting a pump at some point...
- Independence??
College, y'all! It ain't high school!
The learning curve has been steep, for sure. But honestly, it's been really validating to realize that I'm capable of managing my condition on my own. Don't get me wrong, there have been some difficult moments - but on the whole, I'm proud of how I've handled it. I know "no trips to the ER" sounds like a low bar, but if you're a PWD, you know that's something to celebrate.
And another thing - I've somehow managed to find a group of friends who are absolutely wonderful about all my health stuff. I mean, I literally had a friend who left his dorm and walked halfway up science hill to bring me candy when my blood sugar was low. All of my friends put up with my endless complaining about my blood sugar, and none of them stare or ask awkward questions when I do my insulin in public. I'm not sure how I managed to get so lucky, but hey, I'm not gonna question it.
The Bad
- Burnout is real, folks.
Yep. It's hard.
The thing about managing T1D on my own, with no one nearby to help me when it's one of Those Days (PWDs, you know what I mean), is that the exhaustion sets in really quickly and doesn't go away. Y'all have heard me say this before: T1D is a 24/7 job with no breaks, no respite, ever. And when you're dealing with it on your own on top of a full college schedule, god, it's overwhelming sometimes.
So there are days when it's all I can do to force myself to take my insulin. And yeah, there are days when I can't even do that. Most of the time, it's not that bad, thankfully. But the bad days happen, and they'll continue to happen, so I get through them as best I can and wait for things to get better.
- I Am So Tired of Self-Advocacy: the title of my rage-fueled memoir
Okay, I know I've written here about my journey with accommodations. Overcoming the shame that came with asking for help, and then realizing that that was only the first step of a long and arduous process. Well, guess what? In college, it's the same, only there's no parents or advisor to advocate for you. It's all on you.
Getting my accommodations at Yale has been quite the ordeal. It took months to even get a response from the Student Accessibility Services office, and another few weeks to get my request formally approved. And then, of course, one of my professors found a loophole in the accommodations I'd been given, essentially penalizing me for stopping to treat a low during exams. Yay. (/s)
So back to SAS, another round of emails, a meeting with my dean and another with the office, and I finally got a new set of accommodations approved. I was lucky that I had an amazing peer mentor (who also has T1D and is an amazing person!!) to help me through the process, but even so, I was frustrated with how much responsibility fell on me to essentially annoy SAS into listening to me. I know I'm looking at a lifetime of this - that's just part of living with a chronic illness - but that doesn't make it any easier.
The Future
- Being both doctor and patient
One of the coolest things I've gotten to do at Yale has been shadowing in the hospital! I've had the chance to observe several incredible procedures in the OR and interact with patients in a clinical setting. As an aspiring surgeon, I've loved getting a firsthand look at what my life will be like a decade from now - even when that means I have to stop and consider how my condition will impact me in my career.
I will say, I've gotten pretty good at keeping it on the down-low. I keep one pack of fruit snacks, two syringes, and one vial of insulin in the pocket of my scrubs, and if I need to treat a high or low, I just step into a corner and do what I have to do, as quickly and quietly as possible. (The great thing about being surrounded by healthcare professionals is that no one stares or makes rude comments when I pull out a syringe!)
I'm learning what my limits are - how long I can go in the OR without food or water, how low I can get without my hands shaking, etc. I'm aware that my condition will be a barrier for me in a surgical career, but I'm confident that I can manage it.
- My Body Has Found a Fun New Way To Express How Much It Dislikes Me: the title of the exhaustion-fueled sequel to my memoir
If y'all have been following my blog for a while, or if you've gone back and read some of my old posts, then you know T1D isn't the only health issue I've been dealing with. Without going into too much detail - because nothing is certain right now, and likely won't be for the next several weeks - I recently got my yearly tests done, and one of them raised a pretty big red flag.
So, I'll get some more thorough (translation: invasive) tests done over winter break, and until then I'll hope that the doctors' suspicions, and mine, are wrong. Obviously, I'll keep y'all posted no matter what happens. Till then, don't worry too much - I'm in frequent contact with my doctor, annoying him with an incessant stream of questions, true to form.
That's all for now, folks. I'll post again in a month, one way or another, because that's when I'll have test results.
Love y'all!
